Repeatedly doing the same thing gets us the same results. When we make a shift in our views and our approaches, everything and everyone around us will be touched by that shift and have a new experience or opportunity as a result. These weekly affirmations and tips provide you with a chance to try on a new idea or approach. They are invitations for you and those in your life to experience more profound respect and caring in your relationships.
I support the free will of others, and I take responsibility for my own free will.
I honor others’ freedom to make their own choices, and I am intentional in my own choices. When others make choices I don’t agree with or I feel negatively affected by, I carefully consider my own values and needs. I articulate my values with clarity and make requests respectfully. When others are willing to meet my requests, I recognize they are giving me a gift. When others are unwilling to fulfill my requests, I respectfully accept their choice. I understand they need to regard their own needs in the moment.
I remain empowered as I empower others. I consider what self-supportive choices I have in the moment. In future conversations, I will continue to provide opportunities for cooperation through gentle requests.
Tip: Requests that respect another person as having free will start with phrases like “would you be willing.” Phrasing requests with words like “would” or “will” demonstrates your understanding that others are always making choices. When others are positively responsive, express gratitude. Avoid making requests using “can” or “could,” which can feel demeaning. We “can” do a lot of things; however, we have a right to evaluate if we are currently available to meet the request.
It is very important that you empower others by accepting “no” for an answer. It may be very difficult to release the sometimes long-held feeling or belief that we need to control or pressure others in order to get our needs met. However, when those in our life discover we are respecting their free will, they often feel more motivated to cooperate and help us. This is because our closest relationships are motivated by a desire for us to be happy.
This type of respectful communication is often very different from what most of us experienced in our families of origin or have learned in our current significant relationships. Shifting to this type of communication often requires learning and practice. In Imago Relationship Therapy couples are guided to this type of respectful communication style and soon find they are functioning as a team with greater cooperation than they have had in the past.
©2019 Laura Aube
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Imago Relationship Therapy
Imago Relationship Therapy provides you and your partner a safe place to learn how to engage in healthy communication. Utilizing Imago Therapy with your partner can deepen your relationship and your love and acceptance of one another. In a private couples or family Imago Therapy session, you receive expert guidance and practice using tools like curiosity, listening, receptivity, and understanding.
I would be honored to help you on your journey of living from your true self and creating relaxed, joyful relationships. To learn more or schedule a session, call (816) 359-1885 or email email@example.com.
Laura Aube, LPC, ATR-BC, Certified Imago Therapist
Phone: (816) 359-1885
Address: 207 South Washington Street, Raymore, MO 64083
Laura Aube is a licensed Counselor in the State of Missouri. She has advanced training as a Certified Imago Relationship Therapist, as well as a fully-credentialed Art Therapist. Laura has twenty-five years of experience as a therapist and specialized expertise in grief, trauma, couples, and family therapy.